Updated: Mar 29
Along my journey, what I lacked most was a proper mentor to guide me through my personal and professional development. Someone to support me.
When you have postpartum depression you go through this darkness where your mind plays tricks on you.
In the book "Learn About Strangers" by The Berenstain Bears, there's a scene where sister bear goes to the park and is suddenly afraid of seemingly normal things. The darkness and fear she feels cloud her judgement of reality. She's in an altered state of mind. Amazing how a simple children's book can capture the essence of such a complicated emotional state.
When I was going through my postpartum depression everything was so much worse. You're living in that altered state of reality. The physical recovery, hormones, lack of self-care and sleep deprivation create the perfect storm.
My anxiety is still there, but I've learned several techniques to harness it. I'm not talking "oh just go for a walk", techniques, but stuff to help in those "Oh. My. God. I'm having a panic attack and the world is shutting down". That shit happens more than you think.
Connecting with others who are experiencing the same thing AND accepting help is something you'll find in any recovery program. During recovery and therapy, I've learned how to channel the anxiety and energy. No one was going to do it for me. I just needed to dedicate the time to figure it out. Commit.
Just recently I rescued a woman in a parking lot who couldn't find her car. My spidey-sense kicked in and I FELT the pain and panic. I didn't think. I just reacted. I probably shouldn't have drove her car to her doctor's appointment. Logically who would do that? I didn't think. I held my own until the situation was handled. My spidey-sense was a gift that day. I made a difference in her life and probably the staff at the clinic. Looking back I definitely put myself in danger, but that didn't register at the time. She needed help. I saved her.
Fight or flight?
When you change your mindset, it is amazing what you can accomplish. In business they call it "pivoting".
Learning is a lifelong process. I've learned to harness my anxiety. I've learned that I need to get it out of me. Find that release that does the trick. Not everyone is the same, but the practice of being mindful is universal.
When you analyze it, what does it mean to be mindful? It is a rather broad category.
If you could pause life's moment and take it all in; piece by piece. Take back control over your mind and focusing your attention on things you CAN control.
Boom. There it is. Working.
Have you ever heard the phrase that some people wear busy like a badge? It’s a deflection. A wall. There's something more under the surface. I'm guilty of it. I see it in others too. The whole "it takes one to know one" mindset.
When you can remove the emotion from the situation, you gain fresh perspective.
Launching my personal business has been a journey of self-discovery. My work ethic and drive--those universal entrepreneurial traits--haven't realized their full potential yet.
The system isn't set up for those like me tap into that potential. The system weighs you down--layers of administration and human resources.
When I hit my stride as an entrepreneur was when I changed my mindset. I'm not new at this. I've been doing business development my entire career.
When you submit a proposal to the government, that's your business plan. When you go to the FDA for approval on a drug, it is merely a pipeline for bringing drugs and devices to market.
Working at prestigious universities like Brown and Northwestern, I've met a lot of big personalities. I'm not talking just the faculty or surgeons, but the administrators and lawyers. Ugh.
At first glance, people overlooked my potential. They would ask me about my background. I'd tell them I went to business school for marketing. Most didn't see the connection. I'd get a snarky glare asking why I was working in clinical research administration. Where was my MBA? My masters in epidemiology? 🙄
You need people like me to get your project funded, then approval by the FDA to market it. It's all part of the business development pipeline. Be nice.
When you're part of the system, the vision is short-sighted. Managers are more worried about their own next promotion and not the people supporting them. It takes a team.
If you want to go fast, you go alone. If you want to grow fast, you go together. The concept was foreign to so many.
I've been told that my best skill is supporting the team. I see it now that I'm so far away from it.
When the faculty member burst out into a fit of rage on their assistant--I took care of it.
I didn't ask. I didn't wait. I didn't do it for him or for me. I did it for her. I took action without a doubt.
People talk about becoming an entrepreneur to have that financial freedom. What most fail to realize is that there's a lot sacrifice in the beginning. It is a total build. Everyone starts from zero.
Before you gain that financial freedom, you need the emotional freedom first.
Have the belief in yourself and let go of emotional ties to the system. Stop chasing a salary and do what you love to do.
Change your mindset. Get it done.