Updated: Jul 7, 2019
I've learned from working in compliance that a person's reaction to the situation isn't personal.
It isn't directed towards you.
It's how they feel about a prior situation that they are STILL dealing with.
There's a certain level of resistance you have to endure towards their immediate reaction.
Their reaction is based on their feelings. You have to let them process it first.
I imagine this is similar to what doctors go through when giving patients a terminal diagnosis.
When you're not emotionally tied to it, that X factor goes away.
That's fresh perspective.
Alliances and organizational structure; the fear, loyalty to others, etc. All these layers in the system turn into emotional layers with people.
When someone has a lot to lose it can be hard to see the bigger picture.
You're too close to it.
In my life, I've been known to have an immediate reaction on some people. It's probably hard to tell from the online space, but I had that "who's this girl?" reaction in a group of people. I don't command a strong presence just by looking at me. I'm petite and short. At first glance people overlooked me. Heck, my husband wishes I came with a rally flag to find me in the store.
Love it or hate it. That strong reaction was there. That spark.
I can feel it too and it can wear on me--depending on the crowd. #HatersSwipeLeft
After a while I just embraced it.
I spent less energy on pleasing everyone and just focused on the task at hand. Unfortunately, for some people, even the task at hand was hard to see.
The personal insecurity, guilt, deflection, fear, resistance, anger, whatever -- that's on them.
Those closest to me saw the change happen.
My wall came down because in my heart, my struggle was against the system, not the individual.
Once you provide them with the information then it's what they do with it next that matters most.
It is a learning process that they have to go through.
When you can change your mindset, you can shift your emotion.
And for anyone still there at MSU, carry on brave soldier, because the battle isn't the institution.
It's the system.